Zoey is the best worst cat but my kids are absolutely obsessed with her. Here’s a small breakdown of every single day:
-The kids wake up and upon going downstairs immediately begin a hunt to find Zoey.
-No matter how engrossed the kids are in any type of play or activity, if they spot Zoey, they can’t resist chasing after her.
-If Zoey is sleeping on the couch, they smother her until she runs away.
-If Zoey makes the poor choice to go into one of their rooms, they close the door to make sure she stays.
-If Zoey has particularly poor timing and happens to on Leilani’s bed during naptime, she gets used as a pillow.
-When Leilani is emotionally distraught and doesn’t have the words to express what is wrong, she says through her tears, “I need Zoey”. If we bring her Zoey, she will immediately stop crying.
-Every day at naptime and bedtime Leilani asks us if when we find Zoey, we will bring her to her room (we agree every day, but never bring the cat. Why she continues to ask is beyond me).
-Zoey is involved in over 50% of their responses to the dinnertime question, “What was the best part of your day?”.
You get the picture.
They harass the cat multiple times a day and love her to the point of smothering her until she meows and finds an escape. (It’s suddenly abundantly clear to me why she defecates all over the house and hates us so much.) You know what else they do? Obsessively ask me when her birthday is. They started asking me sometime in the winter of 2018. To the best of my knowledge, she was born in June 2009. I kept telling the kids her birthday was in June, but then June came and went without me saying anything about it. As soon as July hit, the kids realized I dropped the ball on informing them it was her birthday. I am not exaggerating when I say that at least twice a week for the past twelve months I have been asked when her birthday is. But it doesn’t stop there. Apparently, my sweet cherubs think that everyone and everything must celebrate their birthday. Since my oldest now has a concept of time, seasons, and months, there was no way around not acknowledging Zoey’s entrance into double digits this year.
The kids were thrilled when June finally hit and incessantly discussed Zoey’s upcoming birthday. Little did I know, my acknowledgement of her birthday would turn into a party. Fine, whatever. I agreed to have a party for her. But did you know that you can’t just say you’re having a party? You actually have to do party affiliated things.
First, the kids wanted to know who was coming to the party. Ummm, no one? Not a good enough answer. I then allowed each of them to invite one person each to the party. Carson made an invitation and hand delivered it, complete with time, date, and place. He made sure to follow up on the RSVP as well.
Once I agreed to having people come to Zoey’s party, one thing led to another and things escalated quickly.
What did Zoey want to eat? (cake and cupcakes)
Zoey wants balloons. (Noted)
We have to get Zoey presents! (a trip to the local pet store solved this problem)
Zoey wants strawberries at her party that we picked. Will they be rotten by her party? (Definitely. But we can freeze some, if you’d like.)
Is it an outdoor party or an indoor party? (weather dependent, my dear daughter. Yes, I understand you’d like it to be an outdoor party, but the forecast calls for nonstop rain for a week. Not to mention that Zoey is an indoor cat.)
We need to remind people to wrap her presents so she can’t see them and is surprised when she opens them. (Cat parties aren’t a thing, Carson. People aren’t going to bring gifts. Prepare yourself for disappointment.)
We don’t have wrapping paper big enough for the present I got! (You’re right. But we do have a giant roll of paper that you can occupy yourself with and decorate while I rest on the couch.)
We have to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ like this; meow meow meow meow, meow meow. Meow meow meow meow, meow meow. (Full meowing inflection. This won’t be awkward at all.)
What color plates does she want for her cupcakes? (Not sure. Why don’t we take a trip to the dollar store and you two children can pick for her?)
Zoey is going to have to blow out her candles. (Zoey hates us and doesn’t want to be present at her party, let alone go towards a flame.)
What are we going to give people for coming to celebrate? (The gift of leaving and not having to attend a cat birthday party ever again.)
The day of the party the kids were amped up. The hardest part for them was having to wait until dinnertime to celebrate. They helped to make sure everything was in order by gathering the supplies, making sure the presents stayed hidden, making and decorating cake and cupcakes (with a little bit of batter testing as well), setting up, and even making artwork to be displayed for the occasion.
I’ll admit that I felt slightly ridiculous orchestrating a full party for a cat, but kids and adults alike had a smile on their face throughout the party. The only problem I created is that now my kids expect a cat party every year. If you’d like an invitation, please let Carson know so he can add you to the ongoing guest list.